Does Someone You Love Have a Drinking Problem? I HIGHLY recommend the movie "When a Man Loves A Woman", with Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia. It is an extremely true portrayal of what it is like for someone without a drinking problem living with someone who has a severe drinking problem. EXCELLENT MOVIE!

When a Man Loves a Woman

These people could be you. In the movie Meg plays the alcoholic and Andy is the pilot. They have two little girls. Meg works at a local school. As the movie unfolds, the audience sees both sides through the horrors of it all (there is a very emotional scene where the oldest daughter witnesses her obliterated mother pass out and fall through the glass of the shower), the deep sadness and grief of a separation, and, well, I won't tell you the end. You must watch it yourself. If you have any heart, you will be touched, and scared.

Does Someone You Love Have a Drinking Problem?

It seems to me I have been around alcoholics all of my life with the exception of my parents! Thank God. Watch for my section on Adult Children of Alcoholics, because they themselves have their own issues to begin with.

First of all, I started drinking young, thanks to my best friend's stocked liquor cabinet. I didn't continue steady really until I was in high school and college. I really didn't drink much in high school. I chose to smoke marijuana. Anyway, it wasn't really until I hit the main campus of my college my junior year that I started to experience heavy drinking on a regular basis. I had been there before in high school a couple of times. Had my first blackout in high school. I drove home and don't even remember the event. That scared me enough to slow down.

Regular Drinkers Don't Get Blackouts

Regular drinkers do not get blackouts. Only alcoholics. Well, ok, there may be an exception to the rule: there may be someone out there that drank once in their life, drank enough to get to blackout phase (very very drunk), woke up the next day and decided never ever to drink again. The reason regular drinkers don't get blackouts is because they never consume the huge amount needed for a blackout!

Alcoholic Friends

My first real experience being involved with an alcoholic was my junior year in college. My best friend was an alcoholic. She was way out of control. Every time we went out she drank and drank until she passed out which was usually the next day! I didn't try to keep up with her. I was more concerned about staying sober to drive.

She pulled some nasty antics on me and some of the guys I was dating or wanted to date. Everyone hated her. She was definitely one of those nasty drunks. (Do you know any of those? If your significant other gets violent with you when they are drunk I suggest you do the best you can to get out. ESPECIALLY IF THERE ARE KIDS INVOLVED. Contact Al-Anon) Anyway, I tried to avoid her as much as I could.

Alcoholic Boyfriends

I started dating a guy who was very tall, very alcoholic, and could handle a lot of liquor. My problem was I always tried to keep up with him. What happened? I always, always, got trashed, way too drunk, then I would just pass out early. He usually continued on with the evening, sometimes even with his ex-girlfriend!

He treated my very very nicely at first, but then he turned cold and our relationship was really just physical and partying. He smoked pot (which I loved to do), had a truck (I had no car), and usually when he was sober he was pretty fun and he was extremely intelligent. Once things changed he would be very emotionally abusive in different ways: ogling other women in front of me, never telling me how he feels, calling me nasty names when he was drunk, the whole gamut. I just started emotionally drifting away from him as my graduation date arrived...

Get Out! (I Say This With Caution)

I finally got away from him physically by moving away. I had my Dad's place to go to. Do you have a place to go to that is safe? If you need to get away from an alcoholic, if you have tried everything you possibly can (counseling, treatment, refusal of treatment, tried to get away before, suffer severe emotional pain as they repeatedly hurt you), and you have a safe place, get out!

Since that college boyfriend I lived with another alcoholic. It took me three times to get away from his tequila-drinkin', Dr, Jeckyll, Mr, Hyde self. But I did it. Luckily I didn't have any children, but I didn't have any money and I had an injured foot which had me out of work. I FOUND a way to get out, even if it meant living in an efficiency with two others. My sanity and pride were worth it.

Married to an Alcoholic

Yes, I ended up marrying an alcoholic, however, at the time I didn't realize. You see, I never really thought of myself as an alcoholic. Since college I always drank, but the quantities varied on what I was doing in my career, who I was hanging out with, how depressed I was, how much sleep I didn't get, etc...I never craved alcohol. Anyway, I did marry an alcoholic who would refuse to communicate with me, refuse to acknowledge that we or he had any problems, and would not go to counseling.

He had me on a very short leash. Very controlling. He was also very emotionally abusive. Everything had to be perfect or he would just yell at me. I couldn't take that. Then he would threaten me if I left him. Well, I left the only way I knew how, and that was to escape, just me, my car, my dog, and whatever I could fit in the car. It was the best decision I could have made...

Bottom-Line! If You Are Married to or Involved With an Alcoholic You Need to Get Help!